Society

AWKWARDNESS has descended on an office after a man bought an expensive Christmas gift for a female colleague, it has emerged.

MOTHERS have demanded to know what time you are coming around on Christmas Day, to the nearest four minutes.

A MAN has been left furious after imagining a confrontation he might have if a hotel room was disappointing.

A MAN whose main activity is watching television is concerned that minorities are not taking an active role in British life, he has revealed.

AN OLD, white, powerful man is preparing to decide whether you have behaved in a fashion he deems appropriate.

BRITAIN’S Supreme Court justices have today begun an historic four day process of trying not to look bored shitless.

MILLIONS of perfectly normal Britons firmly believe they have some sort of ‘victim’ status, it has emerged.

A WEALTHY family leave their shit lying all around the pub whenever they visit.

FOUR out of five people would completely fail to heed the lesson in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, experts have confirmed.  

A TEENAGER has bought her 44-year-old aunt a CD of ‘wartime favourites’, it has emerged.