Society

32-year-old man still expects praise for parking

A DRIVER of 15 years’ standing still expects his excellent parking skills to be commented on by anyone in the passenger seat.

Gran sad about local high street hated guts of every shopkeeper

A PENSIONER who is distressed by the decline of her local high street had a bitter grievance against every shopkeeper when they were still in business.

How to be an utter bellend in a white van

IF you’ve got a Ford Transit and a bad attitude, you probably want to assert your authority over other road users. Here’s how to go about it.

Personalised number plates only 100% effective way to identify twats

A PERSONALISED number plate is the only sure-fire way to identify a twat, experts have confirmed.

Huge rise in feeling like shit

MOST of the UK population feels like shit, it has emerged.

How to cope with Brexit anxiety instead of just getting really f**king angry

DO YOU awaken every day with a gnawing feeling of dread and impotent rage about the country going to the dogs, whichever way you voted?

Two grown men high-five each other in public

A PAIR of adult men have high-fived each other in a cafe seemingly without either irony of self-consciousness, witnesses have confirmed.

Phone footage shows pleasant chat on tube

AN unidentified woman has been filmed amiably conversing with a stranger on the London Underground.  

Idiot bans his kids from playing Xbox

A FATHER who banned his children from playing Xbox cannot believe how much work he has made for himself, he has admitted.

The five most annoying ways to invade someone's personal space

DO you think it’s fun to stand very close to someone in a lift? Here are some other ways to be incredibly irritating and creepy.