Man excited to see house on TV following grisly murder in street

A MAN was delighted to catch a glimpse of his own home on TV during a news item about a killing just metres from his front door. 

Tom Logan from Leeds was watching a chilling report about an axe murder on the local evening news when he experienced the sudden thrill of seeing his own house on screen. 

The 42-year-old said: “It was brilliant. I shouted for everyone to get in the room quick so the whole family could see our house on the telly. Obviously the murder thing was a bit grim, but I just couldn’t get over how cool it was. It’s like the house is famous. 

“Luckily the victim had staggered out of the house, so there were some really clear shots of my front garden and car. If you ignore the actual murder bit with blood everywhere it could have been an episode of Location Location Location

“Obviously I hope the killer is brought to justice. And I feel sorry for the victim, assuming he didn’t deserve it. But the whole thing is just such a rush. I’ve been showing everyone clips.”

Fortunately for Logan, just as the excitement was beginning to wear off he was given fresh hope of seeing his house on TV again. 

He added: “The police said he’s dangerous and could strike again in the same area. Clearly that would be an awful thing to happen, but fingers crossed!”

2025 gone to shit in record time

2025 has defied expectations by descending into a grim hellscape within a single day, it has emerged.

With barely 24 hours on the clock, 2025 has shattered the record set by previous years for swerving into unrelenting misery with a disheartening barrage of news which will set the tone for the coming months.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “You’d have thought that 2025 would slack off until Monday like the rest of us, but no. We’re clearly in for a rough one.

“No sooner had fireworks lit up skies around the world than cosmic forces conspired to make 2025 a punishingly bleak year. To be fair the signs were there if you knew where to look. Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s dancing was a harbinger of the pain to come.

“Even compared to monumentally shit years like 1940 and 2008 this one has got off to a bad start. At least they gave everyone a bit of a run-up, whereas your hangover had barely worn off by the time the first reports from America were starting to come in.

“The only way 2025 could have got off to a worse start would be if nukes started flying and you got laid off at the stroke of midnight. That might sound laughably unfortunate, but maybe that’s what this year is setting up for 2026?

“Anyway, happy New Year. And good luck, you’re going to need it.”