A CONNIVING grandma has been able to use the internet since 2004 and just wanted an occasional visit, her cheated family have learned.
Margaret Gerving has been running the scam, involving bi-weekly phone calls which force her children and grandchildren to come round and reset the ‘box thingy’, for the last 20 years. The truth came out when she was spotted flawlessly tweaking her mouse sensitivity settings.
Gerving said: “I keep an iPhone 16 Pro Max in my bedroom drawer. And you think that biscuit tin contains a sewing kit? Nope, it’s a Galaxy Tab S10 Ultra with one terabyte of RAM.
“I know it’s wrong to get the kids over under false pretences, but there’s no way I would be getting more than a birthday and a Christmas out of those arseholes otherwise.”
Her daughter Kelly Howard has expressed resentment at the con, noting that she had been suspicious of the regularity with which her mum’s computer seemed to ‘go all hot’ every fortnight.
“I had my doubts, but Mum seemed genuinely clueless. Like, couldn’t-find-the-on-button clueless. I wasn’t about to let her piss away my inheritance on a scam. Now I’m not entirely convinced she wasn’t at Bletchley Park.”
The family have suspended their visits as punishment until Gerving issues a full apology and helps them to install a dodgy box for their TV.
