AN apathetic man is unaware he and his girlfriend are in a polyamorous relationship, it has emerged.
Joe Turner and Eleanor Shaw agreed they would start practicing consensual non-monogamy two years ago during a conversation Turner was not paying attention to.
He said: “We work really well as a couple because we let each other do our own thing. I like to play PS5 and watch stuff on YouTube, whereas she’s got a vibrant social life and loves spending time with her really attractive friends.
“My mates live under the thumb, but I get to do whatever I want. The other night I ate Doritos and drank lager while watching both Kill Bill films, because Ellie was out with Josh, this strikingly handsome bloke she knows from yoga.
“And when she got back the next morning she wasn’t even annoyed about the mess. She just kept talking about what an amazing night she’d had with her mate. It was an absolute result.”
Shaw said: “I thought he was on board with polyamory, but he did start playing Call of Duty when I was halfway through introducing the idea and I’ve never actually seen him with anybody else.
“I should tell him, but it’s a bit awkward now, like when someone calls you the wrong name and you don’t correct them right away. Also, there’s a distinct possibility we’ve inadvertently discovered the perfect relationship.”
