Teen discovers underground, alternative music via massive mainstream movie franchise

A TEENAGE boy has been turned on to seriously obscure alternative music after hearing it for the first time in a series of popular commercial films.

15-year-old Jack Browne’s listening habits have taken a turn for the leftfield after he heard tracks by indie artists like The Clash, AC/DC and Nirvana while watching Marvel movies on Disney Plus.

He said: “I never knew there was such subversive, countercultural music that spoke to my soul until I found it hidden away in these multi-million dollar blockbusters.

“I’d been obsessively reading Pitchfork and RateYourMusic, trying to discover something so much more real and authentic than radio pap, when I could have been absorbing the radical experimentation in the Venom: The Last Dance trailer instead.

“There’s no going back for me now. My eyes have been opened. It’s all freak shit like The Ramones, Garbage, and the Beastie Boys that I’m bumping on my iPhone, and I’m ready to tell girls if they ask.

“Though their music is so much more powerful when you watch them in the scenes they were created for. That’s when it really blows you away.”

Browne’s father said: “Normcore shit. I’m into really niche music that you find in the later episodes of unpopular Netflix shows that got canned after one season.”

Australian senator mistakes meaningless figurehead for person of power

AN Australian senator has embarrassed herself by shouting slogans at a ceremonial figurehead which could no more do anything than a statue could. 

Senator Lidia Thorpe shouted ‘this is not your land, you are not my King’ at King Charles without realising that she might as well have shouted those same words at a wallaby.

She said: “Wow, do I have egg on my face.

“I saw all the pomp and ceremony outside and fell into the trap of assuming this was someone of political importance who could change things, not noticing he’d just been introduced to an alpaca in a blue velvet suit.

“So I seized my moment, marched to the stage shouting about genocide, only to discover it’s just some old fella they wheel out when they fancy a banquet. Same one who’s on the dollar coin, coincidentally.

“I feel a total drongo for making all that noise at some bloke who’s basically a Union Jack in a tailored suit. It’s as much a waste of effort as banging on about Palestine on Twitter, which I also do.”

King Charles said: “I blame Game of Thrones for fooling people that kings do stuff.”