THE nation of Canada is desperately trying to work out what exactly it did to upset Donald Trump and make him impose tariffs.
Canadians have been racking their brains to think of a tangible reason for the tariffs, from Trump not liking Ryan Gosling films to him somehow being jealous of Canada’s many trees, and drawing a blank.
Tom Akerman of Montreal said: “Trump said it was illegal immigrants and Fentanyl coming into the US from Canada, but we all know that’s bullshit so it must be something else.
“The thing Canada is most famous for is maple syrup, but it can’t be that. Americans love getting diabetes from pouring distilled sugar all over their weird, half-savoury, half-dessert breakfasts.
“The only other thing I could think of was that Trump hated Barbie, which had Canadian actor Ryan Gosling in it. I’m not sure heads of state normally wipe billions of dollars off trade because a film didn’t live up to the marketing hype though.”
Sylvie White of Winnipeg said: “Isn’t it obvious? Remember when Trump met Justin Trudeau and Melania looked as if she wanted to f**k him there and then? That’s gotta hurt when you’re wearing a big nappy.
“I suppose it’s possible that Trump is a vicious, increasingly senile narcissist whose decisions are entirely based on petty grudges, immense stupidity and the desire to bully and humiliate others.
“But what sort of terminal dickheads would elect a president like that?”
