Health

DAVID Cameron has insisted Britain’s latest war can be used to tackle the country’s weight problem.

CANNABIS users have explained the brain damage they suffer is the only thing that gets them through the same episode of Friends for the 12th time.

EXPERTS giving out dietary advice believe everyone spends their days sitting down in a nice warm office, it has emerged.

A WOMAN has abandoned watching her weight because her mother, boyfriend and work colleagues already have it covered.

EVERY olive is to be made into oil after it was confirmed nobody enjoys eating them.

FOOD may be less harmful than previously thought, it has been claimed.

PERIODS of recuperative rest are still an obstacle to unlimited mobile phone usage, it has emerged.

ANYONE feeling ill during the doctors’ strike has been advised to just look it up on a computer.

SINGLE people prefer to avoid kale and other bullshit vegetables, according to a new study.

A FATHER who used to take loads of Ecstasy has warned his teenage son of the perils of drugs.