Health

MILLIONS of unsold Creme Eggs are about to break open and release the hideous monsters inside, scientists have confirmed.

JUNIOR doctors have abandoned their strike action because they are just so f**king exhausted.

A BOTTLE of beer has given a surprisingly solid argument for why its owner should drink it.

THE UK has happily accepted drinking guidelines of 14 units a week because it has no idea what that means.  

FITNESS obsessives across the UK are claiming they need to lose weight after Christmas, it has emerged.

PAUSING during sex to have a lengthy coughing fit is fine, according to smokers.

THE UK has declared itself just about ready to eat and drink everything it wants while awarding itself expensive gifts.

A MAN who rugby-tackled an obese woman just as she was reaching the counter of Greggs has been hailed as a hero.

AN EPIDEMIC of Pandora bracelets is pushing women’s arms to breaking point, doctors have warned.

A MAN is claiming that his exercise regime is about something other than sex.