SNICKERS bars are being sold under former name Marathon for the first time since 1990. Does this conclusively prove Brexit was a success after all?
Joanna Kramer, dog stylist: “God, if only Boris Johnson could have lived to see this day.”
Donna Sheridan, roofer: “This is for a limited period only. So once it’s finished and goes back to Snickers it means Starmer has officially reversed Brexit, the election is null and void and the Tories return smoothly to power.”
Roy Hobbs, builder: “The Germans used to call a Twix a Raider. What on earth was that about? No wonder they lost the war.”
Jim Bates, delivery driver: “All I ever asked of Brexit was that it reverse time until Britain was best again. Looks like we’re well on the way.”
Professor Jules Cook, astronomer: “To balance the cosmic scales after a similar outrage, in every scientific paper I write I refer to supernovae as ‘Opal Fruits’.”
