Arts & Entertainment

THE only location in London where you can have casual sex with a member of a different household is now Strictly Come Dancing.

ARE you a broadcaster who feels the need to support blustering bellends then can’t understand why they turn on you? Here’s how the BBC keeps doing it.

AS home secretary, I detest everyone in Britain. But I love Disney because for every sad moment like Scar being thrown to hyenas there’s a happy one, like Bambi’s mum being shot.

LEFT-WING masturbators have accepted the gauntlet thrown down when Gillian Anderson was cast as Margaret Thatcher, they have confirmed.

A MIDDLE-AGED man who decided to treat himself to a listen to his favourite 90s album has discovered it is unlistenable, whiny shit.

LOCKDOWN 2 is here, promising to be as good as Ghostbusters 2. These six movies should make you realise being stuck at home again isn’t so bad.

IF I had been told, back when this started, that in September I’d be looking at another six months of this shit, I’d have choked myself to death on my own freshly-baked banana bread.

A MIDDLE AGED couple have wistfully remembered the times when they used to be able to have sex because there was nothing to watch on telly.

WITH former England footballer and TV presenter Alex Scott set to take over from Sue Barker on A Question Of Sport, our panel of gammons explain why she’s the wrong choice.

EASTENDERS is back with a bleak lockdown storyline, but there are surely many more pandemic possibilities. What about these?