Arts & Entertainment

IT’S the f**king Oscars again. Here are some entirely predictable gaffes, triumphs and controversies so you don’t have to spend hours watching this smug event.

UNLIKE the slick shows of today, the children’s TV of decades past was made by crazed surrealists on micro-budgets. Which is why these shows still keep you awake at night.

ARE you undeniably dull? Looking for musicians to create a background noise that won’t challenge you in any way?

Annoyed that a royal funeral has steamrollered the BBC’s Saturday afternoon schedule? These are the shit programmes you were never going to tune in for anyway.  

WITH major TV shows returning to our screens, be sure to ruin them for everyone else using social media. Here are some highly annoying habits.

DO you love those articles explaining how iconic tracks of the past were put together? Here musical artists recall how they made the hits you f**king hate.

THE whole of the UK has spent the weekend mourning, watching documentaries about the Duke of Edinburgh, and certainly not watching Netflix.

THEY terrified you as a child, but rewatching them you’re more likely to piss yourself laughing. These chillers have failed the test of time...

PEOPLE have complained that the 20-something generation has failed to produce an Oasis-style Britpop sensation. Here’s why that’s the last thing the world needs.

MUSIC fan? Ever listened to the lyrics of a song you love and thought ‘wait – what the f**k’? These songs are, on close attention, completely deranged...