A GALLAGHER brother and Shaun Ryder are teaming up to triangulate monetisation of their fanbases. These supergroups were failures from their first moments:
Mantra of the Cosmos (2023-)
Half of Oasis and one of the Stone Roses was last year, grandad. Now it’s half of Oasis and half of the Happy Mondays. Not helped by son-of-Ringo Zak Starkey comparing Ryder to Beat poets or Noel claiming the Mondays were British exports as vital as the Clangers. Come on, Noel. They’re not fit to be mentioned in the same breath as the Clangers.
Audioslave (2001-2007)
A masterclass in digging out old band demos and slapping other vocals over them, Audioslave were a lazy collision of Chris Cornell from Soundgarden and most of Rage Against The Machine. He traded grunge model coolness for a Backstreet Boy vest and spiked hair, they were filling in time until a RATM reunion. Once it arrived they stopped.
McBusted (2013-2015)
Not so much a band, more an exercise in proving to former Busted frontman Charlie Simpson that tween nostalgia was a f**king goldmine. A team up of 00s pop nemeses that only served to confirm that yes, you will all be playing What I Go To School For and 5 Colours In Her Hair until you are old, old men.
Chickenfoot (2008-2012)
Van Halen’s worst singer Sammy Hagar could have bowed out with his reputation as a karaoke dad, but decided there were new genres to ruin. Joining with the Chili Peppers’ Chad Smith and long-winded noodling Deep Purple guitarist Joe Satriani, this bluesy experiment was a great idea ten pints deep and a hangover that lasted four long years.
Asian (1981-1986, 1989-present)
Like fellow mistake of the 1970s wife-swapping, prog rock bands always had members popping in and out. Four of them joined together to make albums with the rejected cover art of erotic fantasy novels, and they bored the arses off everyone right into the next decade.
Lulu by Lou Reed & Metallica (2011)
Logic disappears when attempting to survive a track from this short-lived monstrosity. The thrash legends misread how slowly they needed to play for the singer’s drawl to keep up but refused to hold back any shred of boredom or regret. That neither seemed to ever have heard the other before was hilarious and memed. You imagine Lou Reed did not appreciate this.
