A HUSBAND’S playlist of erotic mood music promised far more than he was able to deliver, it has emerged.
After including songs from artists such as Barry White, Kendrick Lamar and Donna Summer on a playlist called ‘SHAGGING’, Nathan Muir’s wife confirmed he had set the bar too high for what he was capable of in bed.
Nikki Muir said: “God loves a trier, and Nathan always does his best, but did he really think he had the moves to compete with ‘Gett Off’’? Prince’s voice got me going way more than Nath’s clumsy attempts at talking dirty.
“Things improved a little with ‘Push It’ by Salt-N-Pepa, as it brought a bit of levity to the situation, which was necessary after his embarrassing effort at looking intense and smouldering during Sade’s ‘The Sweetest Taboo’.
“But then he started mumbling along to ‘Justify My Love’. Madonna is excellent at that kind of low, seductive murmuring, whereas Nathan just sounds like he’s trying to recall a shopping list in Tesco.
“And as for putting ‘WAP’ by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion on there, well, that was just stupid. I enjoyed it but Nathan was so intimidated by them that he immediately lost his erection and we had to go downstairs and watch Emmerdale instead.”
