Alcohol

IT’S hard to believe, but we Brits like a few drinks. However the last thing we want to do is take punishing our livers too seriously. Here’s how to keep terrifying levels of alcohol consumption fun.

YOU'RE drinking tonight, but have you planned your alcohol consumption to create a hangover that will take you out for 24 hours? Follow this guide.

YOU'RE out the pub when a pissed-up stranger, who seems to think he knows you, opens a slurred dialogue. Here's how to cope.

THE drinks are in but the twat who paid for them looks f**king livid. Find out if their rage is your fault.

FORGET martinis and mojitos, these are the vile concoctions generations of British teenagers have used to get tanked.

A MAN who gave up booze for a month has already successfully undone all of the positive effects of his abstinence.

A MAN has a 'nightcap' of four cans of Stella every night to help him relax before bed.

A WOMAN has scoured her recipe books for a dish that requires a splash of red wine just so she has an excuse to drink the rest of the bottle.

A MAN bases his opinion of every country he visits purely on how cheap it is to buy beer.

A Wetherspoons has been levelled by a seismic volley of orgasms after a pint was served in a glass with a little crown on it.