Alcohol

SOULLESS pubs feigning a long rustic history always pull the same interior design crap based around the same few bollocks items.

APPRECIATORS of super-strength lager's complex flavours feel they have been ignored in Rachel Reeves’ budget. 

A MAN is not tight or anything, he just thinks it is daft to spend a fiver on a pint.

MORE than 60 per cent of craft beer is brewed by big bastard corporations rather than independent bearded wankers, research has found.

A GROUP of work colleagues have been assured by a co-worker that they can continue their drinking at a great bar situated a mere 45 minute walk away.

A NEW range of boutique 12 per cent lagers are the drink of choice for sophisticated urban professionals at upscale dinner parties.

MORNING! Oh God, what did you do? How did unwinding with three bottles of wine lead to this? What is your pickled brain claiming happened and did it?

A MAN who absolutely underdid it on the pints has woken up mortified at the not even slightly embarrassing things he said the night before.