DAVID Beckham is fighting to save his reputation after claims he has been to bed with his pointy wife.
Sources close to the couple said Victoria no longer requires tethering to the floor during windy weather, fuelling speculation that another dress-up doll named after the place where they fucked may be on the way.
An insider said: “Between not playing football in America and making Harry Redknapp look like a salivating, crotch-rubbing pervert in a grimy strip club, he simply hasn’t had the time to get drunk enough for that kind of thing.
“If you watch recent footage of him at the Sports Personality of the Year, he looks relaxed and happy, rather than having the haunted Vietnam-vet face of someone who had recently been adjacent to the world’s pointiest, most miserable fandango.”
Beckham is now considering an injunction against his wife, banning her from further accusations of consummated fidelity.
Meanwhile analysts have warned that Victoria’s allegations will damage ‘brand Beckham’ which generates millions every year as companies queue up to have their products endorsed by a badly tattooed simpleton who sounds like an Eastenders actress.
The insider added; “Victoria decided that having sex with your husband is this season’s ‘must have’.
“I just hope it all blows over and they can return to being the sexless, joyless couple, the extent of whose fame we will never really understand.”
