THE opening ceremony of the Olympic Games in Paris will be so obsessed with France and French national identity that Britain will go unmentioned, fans fear.
Despite the opening ceremony of the 2012 Olympics being acclaimed around the world, the egotistical French plan to make tonight all about them with their superior neighbour relegated to the background.
Athlete Ryan Whittaker said: “Isn’t that just typical of the French? The worst kind of nationalism.
“Off the top of my head they could have included the Beatles, Lancelot, Isaac Newton, the Magna Carta, that elephant shitting all over the Blue Peter studio and our 1996 invention of the vodka Red Bull, none of which were in the last one.
“Instead, jingoistically, they’ve focused the whole thing on their sordid history of guillotining Royals, Emperor Napoleon, and unpopular French characters like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Asterix and Sophie la girafe.
“By pretending Serge Gainsbourg is preferable to Led Zeppelin they’re slapping their global audience in the face. I pity them. This could have been a wonderful celebration of their joyful proximity to a world-leading nation. Instead it’s a tawdry show of Frenchness.”
He added: “Vicki Michelle hasn’t received so much as a phone call from them. That’s simply rude.”
