Fourteen-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, is now 15, and has his crew round to celebrate
WAGWAN? Peng birthday to man, peng birthday to man, peng birthday Active J, peng birthday to man, innit.
In case you has been livin’ on da moon or sumfink, you will know it has been bossman Active J’s 15th birthday today. And man is grounded.
Man’s birthday started nang well, man got a whole new drip, innit: North Face, Air Force, ‘ugo Boss. All slightly different from current drip, but all boxfresh, which is wot counts, bruh.
Den parentdem paid for mandem crew to bust Maccy D’s for breakfast before school, an’ there might ‘ave been a food fight, an’ dickhead Drilla might ‘ave got too much ‘ash brown shoved up him’s nose, coz him got McDip on man’s Air Force. But it woz all chill cuz parentdem calmed down manager.
In da hafter school time, mandem crew came to Active J’s crib to do serious partyin’, bust gangsta rap, an’ be full-on badasses before dem’s ‘ad to be picked up at ten ho’clock.
Parentdem let Active J an’ mandem crew lay down street beats on da karaoke system in dem’s hentertainjng room in da hannex, behind da hindoor pool. But dem’s did not pay hattention to Active J’s rider for more Maccy D’s! Hinstead dey laid out bare platters of triangle sandwiches an’ da little chunks of cheese on da sticks. Rank, bruh!
Heveryfink woz swaggin’ nang, mandem crew woz chillin’ an’ keepin’ it real on da mezzanine. But just as Active J woz takin a big chug of him’s new fruity vape from leng gyal, Lady G, parentdem come in wiv a birthday cake, singin’ da ‘Appy Birthday to Joshua’ song!
Man woz gassed wiv da cake in da shape of Jordan 1 trainers wiv strawberry laces as da laces an’ 15 candles, but Active J could not speak coz man woz holdin’ him’s vape fumes in. An’ then parentdem made man blow out him’s candles, innit. Oh, fam! It woz like man woz puttin’ out a fire wiv a CO2 hextinguisher. Dem woz so vexed.
So, Active J is grounded on him’s birthday, but mandem crew Snapchatted man from da hastroturf, eatin’ man’s trainer cake an’ singin’ ‘Peng birthday to Joshua’. Wastemans!
