DAVID Davies yesterday quoted Oliver Cromwell to tell Johnson to piss off. Which other quotes, with helpful amendments, might help the dick get the message?
‘Stand not on the order of your going, but f**k off’
A classic line from Macbeth when the autocratic tyrant is losing it, his lies are catching up with him and his viciously ambitious wife’s still trying to keep the shitshow on the road. It’s certainly apposite.
‘F**k off. No, f**k off a lot’
A retort from Kingsley Amis who, like Boris, loved both Thatcher and adultery but also loved being rude to high-born dickheads who think they’re better than you.
‘I wolde I hadde thy coillons in myn hond… Lat kutte hem of, you wanker’
It may be Chaucer’s Middle English, but the fury and desire to castrate someone come through as strongly as they do in any vox pop in a traditionally Tory seat. And honestly, wouldn’t castration be kindest to Johnson?
‘Go, consort with friends who like a madman for their mate, you spluttering posh prick’
From a Sophocles play, but to Boris a direct instruction to get his old job as a Telegraph columnist back. They’ve long parted ways with reason over there.
‘God damn this windy ruffian and all his breed, who should all f**k off’
Mark Twain writing about English aristocrats discussing a fart is exactly what’s happening in the Commons tea room right now. Apparently they need a weekend and a report from Sue Gray to agree that the fart is bad.
‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that Boris needs to f**k off’
Jane Austen didn’t exactly write this, but if you’re familiar with the overstuffed lying twats who make up the majority of men in her novels, you know she’d absolutely agree.
‘The pain of parting is as nothing to the joy of you f**king off forever’
Johnson would certainly recognise the wise words of Charles Dickens, the quintessential English novelist, who would have spotted the shithead as a bad ’un from miles away. We should only listen.
‘Hodor. Also, f**k off Boris’
Brain-damaged by a bad warging and unable to say anything but ‘Hodor’, the Game of Thrones character would have made an exception for our soon-to-depart prime minister. Telling him to f**k off is just too important not to.