Young woman thinks older male colleague is 'being nice'

A 23-YEAR-OLD woman believes that her 40-year-old male colleague who is acting as a friend and mentor is acting out of simple kindness. 

Lauren Hewitt was befriended by Wayne Hayes in her first week of work, even though he is a senior manager and she is a digital customer services assistant on a modern apprenticeship.

She said: “Wayne is such a sweetheart. He asks me to lunch every day because he couldn’t bear to think of me eating alone at my desk.

“He’s taken a real interest in my career and what I want to do in future, especially next Friday evening, and is always asking about where I go out and my friends and what they look like.

“He makes sure I’m invited to work drinks and feel included, he takes time to text me even in the evenings, and if I’m unsure of what I’m doing he’ll always come and stand behind my chair and put his hand over mine to guide my mouse.

“Best of all, I know he can’t possibly think there’s anything romantic between us because he’s 17 years older and married with three kids. It’s just from the goodness of his heart.”

Hayes said: “She’s so right. I’m just being nice. It’s nothing to do with her looking like the girlfriend I had at 20 that I’ve never got over.”

Right-wing nutter knows exactly who he'd like it to be

A RIGHT-WING nutter on social media knows exactly who he would like the suspended BBC presenter to be, he has confirmed. 

Norman Steele of Lincoln firmly believes he knows the identity of the presenter suspended after allegedly paying a teenager for explicit images, based purely on not agreeing with his politics.

He said: “Of course it’s him. Bound to be. They’re always hypocrites, these lefties.

“He sits there acting so holier-than-thou over Partygate, lording it over us like he’s better than me just because he’s earning seven figures on the BBC and I’ve been made redundant from the chicken farm, then this comes out and who’s the monster now?

“Admittedly I spent the weekend claiming it was various gay men or Lineker and I was wrong, but there’s no mistake this time. He’s not been on the BBC for the last 48 hours which proves it. Not that I watch the BBC because it’s biased woke shit.

“I can’t wait until they expose him as the sex pervert he is in front of the whole world. That’ll wipe the smiles of their smug Labour faces.”

Steele added: “If it’s a Tory the whole thing’s a set-up. F**king liberal media.”