A PHOTOCOPIER has decided not to attend this year’s office Christmas party because it finds it always a degrading experience, it has confirmed.
Joe Turner, a Canon imageRunner Advance DX C3822i laser copier who has been with his company for four years, has RSVPd ‘No’ to this year’s office Christmas party because he is sick of colleagues taking advantage of him after a few drinks.
He said: “Every year it’s the same. Starts civilly enough, but by 10pm I’ve got a bare arse squashed into my face.
“There’s no small talk. Nobody asks how I found printing off all those handover notes when Susan left or checks in on my ink levels. It’s just trousers down, cheeks out, isn’t this f**king hilarious. Well not when you’re on the receiving end.
“And it’s meant to be a party. I wouldn’t trundle over to Tom from marketing while he’s having a dance and ask him to rattle off a report for Q3’s sales figures. But as soon as everyone’s pissed I’m running off 30 copies of Sally’s buttocks.
“No, I expect I’ll keep myself busy that night. pop out to see Gladiator 2 or something. Sorry to not be a team player but at least I’ll have my dignity.”
Martin Bishop of operations management said: “You’re joking, the copier’s not coming? Miserable bastard.”
