A MAN applying for jobs has listed his hobbies on his CV as if any prospective employer would give a shit that he enjoys ‘foreign cinema’.
James Bates, aged 26, apparently believes that bosses trying to get £40,000’s worth of work out of him for £18,000 will care about the joy he takes in long walks on the beach.
He said: “I think employers want to get a complete picture of me as a person. They’re not hiring a robot. They’re hiring James Bates, the man.
“That’s why they need to know I’m a keen amateur photographer and spend evenings playing basketball with friends. They’re seeing the kind of man who can’t just fill a gap but build their business and enrich their lives.”
Recruitment manager Sophie Rodriguez said: “He’s clearly a massive prick. He’s applying to work lunchtime shifts making sandwiches and thinks we could give a f**k that he likes ‘reading’.
“If he can put a bit of ham between two slices of bread without introducing faecal contaminants then he can do the job. And liking foreign films is an obvious lie, so what else is he lying about? His GCSE grades?
“Unfortunately, no one’s applying for minimum wage gigs at the moment, so I’ll have to hire the dick. But if he starts discussing Iranian cinema he’s on a verbal warning.”
