PC TOM Logan is determined to keep busting people for having tiny amounts of cannabis because he is a tosser.
39-year-old Logan is widely loathed by the community and his colleagues for being an anally retentive weirdo with a massive inferiority complex.
Logan’s partner Roy Hobbs said: “If I see a bunch of teenagers smoking a bifter I will usually pretend not to notice or just give them a bit of a stern look. But Tom’s always like ‘stop the car!’.
“Then he jumps out and rolls across the bonnet like an American TV cop. Then it’s full searches all round, which usually results in a nugget of poor quality hash and a shitload of paperwork.
“I try to tell him we should focus on more pressing things like murders but he says ‘you can’t turn a blind eye to justice’.”
PC Logan said: “We have to send out a stern message to these young criminals of tomorrow. I might only be able to give them a small fine but at least they get a criminal record which will hamper them if they ever try to go on holiday to America.
“I don’t like these druggies and I don’t like their sarcastic manner. And I especially don’t like how they say I look too short to be a copper, which is not correct because I am five foot ten when I’ve got my boots on.
“Okay, five foot nine. Whatever.”
