Secret of happy marriage 'is to live entirely separate lives'

A COUPLE who have been married for 60 years say the secret of their success is to have no contact with each other whatsoever.

Tom Booker and Emma Bradford were married at Walthamstow Chapel in 1955. So as not to sully their love, Emma refused to take her husband’s name, with his agreement.

To preserve the purity of their union, they spent their honeymoon at their respective flats in Bow and Bethnal Green. Since then, they have communicated only once a year, via a mutual friend, to wish each other a happy wedding anniversary.

Booker said: “We have seen so many marriages fail because the couple get to know one other and become bored to near-homicidal distraction with each other.

“Emma and I never wanted that to happen to us. So we vowed that, once married, we would never meet again.

“It’s been 60 years now – and it hasn’t been a day too long.”

Emma Bradford added: “There’s been no sexual disappointment because we’ve never have had sex with each other. We never argue because we’ve no idea what each others’ opinions are about anything.

“We couldn’t be happier. Marriage is a wonderful thing if you do it properly.”

Traces of FIFA found on 80 per cent of banknotes

FOUR in every five banknotes has been used for an illegal payment by FIFA, investigators have confirmed.

Currencies from the euro to the dollar to the Angolan kwanza contain clear traces of FIFA’s sweaty fingers when illuminated under ultraviolet light.

An FBI spokesman said: “Almost every note in your wallet has, at one time, been used in a multimillion dollar bribe between football federations, usually in squalid toilets.

“When riffled through, the banknotes issue a whispering sound which, when amplified 100 times, says ‘It’s for the good of world football,’ and ‘they’re only opposing Qatar because they’re racist’.

“The historical figures that appear on the notes, from Egypt’s Rameses II to the UK’s Adam Smith, have all begun to resemble Sepp Blatter’s distinctive, ‘bummed turtle’ countenance.

“And, if left sealed in a vault, they will begin to move very gradually toward Switzerland as if going home.”