BRITAIN has hit a 50-year high in the production of television-watching food consumption units.
According to the Office of National Statistics (ONS) an extra 791,000 units were activated in 2008 while 509,000 were switched off.
The UK also saw a net increase of 118,000 foreign units who were no longer responding favourably to the television and food in their country of activation.
An ONS spokesman said: "There does appear to be a correlation between unit production, advances in televisual innovation and the perfection of tubed food.
"The previous record was set in 1962 shortly after the invention of situation comedies and squeezable cheese."
Sociologist Dr Tom Logan said: "It seems the units want to produce their own units to share in the bounty of celebrity-based dance programming and a constantly expanding range of minced, reheated animal parts.
"Meanwhile more units are determined to remain active for longer so as not to miss out on the latest developments in Freak-o-Vision.
"And they are able to successfully postpone their deactivation date by using a new generation of pharmaceuticals designed to limit the damage caused by prolonged animal tube consumption."
But Emma Bradford, a stand-alone unit from Peterborough who has combined with three different units to produce three additional units, said she was worried about all the foreign units.
"It is only a matter of time before we will be forced to watch their television programmes and consume their spicy microwaved meat bags."
