YOUR life is already in serious trouble if you have a National Lottery account regardless of whether it gets hacked, experts believe.
After evidence of hacking emerged, Britons have been advised to consider what sort of total and utter loser has an online account to play the fucking lottery.
Cybersecurity expert Martin Bishop said: “There’s a risk of funds being stolen, but that’s nothing compared to wasting your life sitting at a computer losing money on idiotic games called ‘Winstant MegaBalls’.
“I’d advise players to reset their password, but also ask whether joylessly typing numbers into a machine in order to not win anything yet again is worthwhile.
“Buying a physical ticket in a shop is at least a real event with some sense of drama, but playing online is basically like having a tedious data inputting job, except you have to pay to do it.
“Players should give up on the whole stupid thing and do something real and life-enriching like playing with a dog or getting pissed.”
Shop assistant Tom Logan said: “Playing the lottery online leaves me more time to daydream about all the bling crap I’m going to buy, like a diamond-encrusted microwave.
“I hope these bastard hackers haven’t ruined my one in 11,784,430,926 chance of winning.”
