EVERY chocolate bar invented since the Wispa has been either uninspired or disgusting, it has emerged.
The Institute for Studies found that there had been no worthwhile additions to the chocolate bar canon since Wispas came out over three decades ago.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Wispa is the last ‘top tier’ chocolate bar, and even that’s essentially a pretentious Aero.
“Some might argue for Boost, but Boosts are impossible to eat. Absurd levels of chewiness mean I’ve seen discarded Boosts with teeth embedded in them.”
Brubaker highlighted the green Boost with guarana in it and limited edition mango Bounty as examples of a creatively-barren industry veering towards the grotesque.
“The clean, militaristic Yorkie is the pinnacle of chocolate design, although Double Decker is perhaps the most radical, being based on a bus.
“Chocolate bars are like music – we lazily presume that each generation will have its own radical ideas. And like music we’ve had nothing decent since the 80s.
“Surely more can be done. What about a Penguin biscuit the size of a Mars bar and with a layer of caramel?
“I just thought of that off the top of my head and it still kicks the shit out of Kinder Bueno.”
