CAR and bike owners have agreed that they hate pedestrians.
Representatives from the warring factions of two-wheeled and four-wheeled travellers met last night in an attempt to forge a truce.
They found common ground in a shared loathing of people who walk around.
Motorist Tom Logan said: “I hated cyclists because they don’t pay road tax, are easy to run over because they’re too busy thinking about Joanna Newsome, allotments and ballet to watch where they’re fucking going.
“But when you think about it, all those things apply to pedestrians plus they don’t even contribute to the economy by buying a machine.”
Cyclist Emma Bradford said: “When things are getting sticky on the road I like to ride along the pavement. But it’s literally full of pedestrians, you have to pedal really fast to cut a swathe through them.
“Also what’s the deal with pedestrian crossings? I never stop at them because they’re stupidly at a right angle to the traffic flow, it’s so illogical.”
Lorry driver Stephen Malley said: “These cyclists are ok, a few of them are even heterosexual, or at least bi.
“It’s the ‘foot people’ that are the real enemies of transport and we’ve agreed to work together on their destruction.”
