NEWSPAPER editors broke dangerous new ground last night by adding the word 'gate' to the word 'yacht'.
Yacht-lovers across the world reacted in horror as 'gate' was added, either hyphenated or in a combination that formed one long, nine-letter word.
James Harding, the editor of The Times, said: "By adding the word 'gate' this is no longer a humdrum story about an everyday yacht.
"This is a story that goes to the very heart of yachts and yes, perhaps even gates.
"Indeed, given the size of the original yacht, this scandal is now so big it could very easily bring down the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!"
But a White House spokesman warned: "It's all very well writing stories about yachts and gates, but Mr Harding might want to think twice before bringing this country to its knees."
Media analyst Tom Logan said: "Now they've added the word 'gate' to the word 'yacht' I will be taking it a lot more seriously.
"Nevertheless, I still can't help thinking this is just another run-of-the-mill story about a couple of arsehole politicians sucking a rich man's cock."