RUMOURS of a Happy Mondays reunion have been quashed after it was revealed to be a group of heroin addicts near some swings.
Baggy fan Tom Logan was looking out of the window of his Manchester flat when he spotted what he believed to be Shaun Ryder, Bez and the other ones.
He said: “I excitedly called my girlfriend over and said look, it’s the Mondays, they must have just been at a recording session and now they’re relaxing in the park, drinking cans of Special Brew and telling each other to fuck off.
“Let’s go and get their autographs.”
However closer inspection revealed the individuals to be some heroin addicts called Mikey, Tigger, Karl and Scouse, who had never been in the Happy Mondays.
Logan added: “Although physically indistinguishable from the Happy Mondays, these people were not recording artists, nor did they have any anecdotes about dropping quadruple pink callies before going on stage at the Hacienda.
“One of them wanted 32p for the phone. Apparently it’s a special type of payphone, one that takes 2p pieces.
“We chatted for a bit, Tigger was the most upbeat despite having to go and have his leg amputated on Tuesday.”
Logan’s girlfriend Emma Bradford said: “I had this idea to get them to pretend to have been a really influential Manchester band called the Space Finches.
“As no-one remembers the mid 90s because of all the drugs, it should be easy for them to get some gigs.”
