THE government has confirmed that you are too busy to eat properly, exercise or enjoy relationships.
A government spokesman said: “New data shows that over half of Britons regularly eat toast for dinner, which is exactly how it should be.
“You are not supposed to have time for anything. We want you working, shopping or frantically cramming heated bread into your face to sustain yourself for those purposes.
“The families you see smiling and having picnics on the telly, they are made up.
“I know we used to bang on about going to the gym but it’s more of a ‘nice idea’ that something that will actually happen.”
He added: “After all, if you don’t keep working your peers might get richer than you and have better consumer goods. You could not handle that.”
