ALL Britons have a male relative who can get them any second-hand car, it has emerged.
Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that all families include at least one ‘car-getter’, who is usually called ‘Uncle Steve’ or ‘Roy’s cousin Pete’.
Teacher Stephen Malley said: “I got my last car off my dad’s cousin, who pops up bi-annually at family barbecues and always mentions that he can get you any car you like, right down to choosing the year and the colour.
“It’s not clear where the cars come from, it’s some sort of auction. I’m fairly sure it’s legitimate, or at least semi-legitimate.”
Post office work Mary Fisher said: “Come to think of it, we always get our used cars off Roy’s cousin Pete.
“Every two years he just turns up at the door with a blue hatchback and asks if we want to buy it, but says it’s no problem if we don’t. He never specifically asks for payment in cash but it is an unspoken rule.
“I like him.”
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Car-getters are not exactly dodgy, just odd. They always claim not to make a profit on their car transactions.
“Really we know very little about the car-getter and his spiritual connection with used vehicle. Maybe car-getters were abandoned as babies then raised in a forest by a family of wild Fiat Unos.”
