THE record numbers of people now trapped in the capital believe they have little chance of returning to freedom.
London captive Tom Booker said: “I’ve tried everything to get out, even getting a job in Birmingham, but when you drive out of Zone 5 you just hit a kind of forcefield.
“I suppose I will die here, among the twats.”
Bar worker Wayne Hayes said: “I’ve tried tunnelling out but my lungs are too weak from the pollution.
“London was my dream, but the streets are not in fact paved with gold. In fact there is shit all over them, both canine and human.
“I thought I would have a successful viral marketing company by now, but thanks to my sleeve tattoos I am stuck in bar work, making barely enough to cover the cocaine I need to keep me sane.”