THE new trend of extremely brazen shoplifting is worrying. You’re probably agreeing with me now, but that’s before you’ve realised I am a massive racist.
We both know the sort of shoplifting I mean – when thieves take over a store and empty entire shelves, their numbers and the threat of violence preventing staff from intervening. It’s popular with a certain type of criminal, but I’m not going to set any alarm bells ringing just yet.
You will agree this is concerning and more serious than the sort of shoplifting we’re used to, such as stealing small items like razors or meat, often to feed a drug habit. I will suggest that it requires harsher punishment. You will see no reason to disagree.
However you will be thinking in terms of tougher prison sentences to act as a deterrent. I will be thinking more of deporting the ‘shoplifters’. And their families. At gunpoint. On a banana boat.
Then I will say something like: ‘Of course, they’re all in gangs.’ You’ll be concerned about the direction the conversation is taking and attempt to point out there is no causal connection between crime and race. But you’d be wrong, and Enoch was right.
Finally I will claim we are not allowed to mention the colour of the shoplifters’ skin. The penny will finally drop, but it will be too late to avoid being subjected to my frankly bizarre racist views, such as black people being genetically predisposed to crime, however that works. I’ll probably also share my thoughts on ‘Muslim rape gangs’ since we’re already having a chat.
You can disagree with me, of course, but rest assured nothing will get through to a dyed-in-the-wool racist whose prejudices are constantly reaffirmed by my racist friends, Twitter and mainstream politicians. Including ethnic minority ones, which even I find a bit strange.
At this point you may discover you wish to end the conversation, as people often do. That’s fine. Strangely, I might even reach the conclusion that you agree with me that there’s only one way to deal with these shoplifters – send ’em back.
