YOUR brother-in-law has previewed his feeble excuses for driving drunk over the festive season.
“I am still a better driver than any woman”42-year-old feckless moron Tom Booker raised the topic at a family gathering last week, while describing having six pints after work then driving home.
The arrogant shitbag said: Im from a different era, before political correctness came along and changed everything so you had to be sober to drive a motor vehicle past a playground.
In my defence, Im never so drunk that I cant see the road. I’ve got brilliant reflexes anyway, always have had.
Widely disliked family member Booker, who is also a racist, continued: Also I keep some dry roasted peanuts in the car which science says sober you up instantly because of all the nut oils.
Sensing the room turn against him, Booker mumbled something about his fathers generation and how we used to have more freedom.
Adopting a sanctimonious tone, he added: I would never do it with kiddies in the back.
A lot of people do though.
Relatives confirmed that if Booker gets caught he will blame the pressures of his divorce, which is obviously bollocks because that was eight years ago and it was him who had the affair.
