FIRED up your phone’s front-facing camera only for it to display your face in an unflattering light? Brush off the reality it’s showing you with these lies.
It’s the lens’ fault
Despite knowing nothing about how cameras work, you’re positive that the curve of the lens or its field of vision is to blame for your face’s multiple chins and boss-eyed expression. It’s all to do with the curvature of the image or something. Weirdly the rear-facing camera makes you look shit, too. Manufacturers should really sort out this glaring hardware problem.
The lighting’s bad
No, you do not have a disgusting, gormless face. The problem here is that the light is coming from a weird angle and it’s too intense for the camera to pick up your very subtle beauty. Luckily, fixing this issue is easy. Simply move to a pitch-black location, deactivate the flash, and you’ll instantly look much better.
You’re holding it too close
Everything looks better from far away, especially your solid five out of ten face. Front-facing cameras only make you look bad because they’re often held so close that they can see right up your nose and pick up every peach fuzz hair growing above your top lip. To get better results, always hold your phone at arm’s length and never risk opening the camera app again.
The focus is f**ked
Front-facing cameras won’t focus on anything unless you touch the screen, meaning the many facets of your otherwise attractive face cancel each other out. And while this is definitely true, don’t put it to the test by honing in on your dazzling eyes or radiant smile. You’ll have to make up another lie about why being in focus is actually a bad thing as well.
You don’t normally look like that
Of course you don’t. You look absolutely stunning according to your imagination and your lying friends. Highly-advanced front-facing cameras just have a defect that only becomes apparent when they’re pointed at your face, that’s all. It’s a similar issue that crops up whenever you’re snapped by other people, whether that’s digitally or on film. One day technology will catch up with your good looks, but not today.
