SOUL legend Isaac Hayes is the latest of many killjoy artists stopping Donald Trump playing their music at his rallies. What music would be suitable? 

Helen Archer, pharmacist: “What about Madonna’s 1990 song Hanky Panky? That’s already total shit so he couldn’t ruin it.”

Emma Bradford, vet: “I’d go for the Imperial March from Star Wars. For his crowd, that’s subtle foreshadowing.”

Tom Booker, DJ: “Surprised he hasn’t brought out his own branded TrumpMusic yet, with his speeches cut up to a punishingly generic techno beat. It’d sell.”

Ryan Whittaker, barman: “He hasn’t noticed YMCA is gay, so why not Samwell’s 2007 viral hit What What (In The Butt)? His fans could all sing along.”

Ian Stuart Donaldson, late frontman of Nazi punk band Skrewdriver: “I would like to request that Mr Trump cease and desist from playing our music at his rallies. His political views do not align with ours.”