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Woman at bar signalling she'd like to talk about World of Warcraft 

A BEAUTIFUL woman at a bar has been sending out definite signals that she is keen to talk about the online gaming universe of World of Warcraft. 

38-year-old Tom Booker could not believe his luck when he saw the woman indicating she would be fascinated to chat with him at length about his favourite multiplayer fantasy game.

Booker said: “She was sat there at the bar, like an angel. Actually like the Elven Queen Azshara – beautiful, charismatic and persuasive in every way.

“I could tell she was interested in World of Warcraft because of the way she did a double take when she saw my branded t-shirt. I knew at once I’d found a kindred spirit, ready to rule over the Naga with me as her faithful servant.

“She’d clearly been sitting there for hours, just waiting for that special someone to ask her ranking in the leaderboard. She’ll stop staring and approach me any second. I imagine that slight frown on her face is because she’s getting her raging libido under control first.

“We’ll have a wedding themed around the enchanted forest of Ardenweald within the year. What self-respecting woman doesn’t want that?”

25-year-old Charlotte Phelps said: “I categorically do not fancy him. I just can’t believe a grown man would be enough of a tragic loser to wear that t-shirt to a bar.”

We ask you: will you be going to a riot or the garden centre this weekend?

THE police are to remain on high alert this weekend due to the threat of further disorder. But will you be joining the race riots or heading to Dobbies instead?

Roy Hobbs, retired electrician: “In my younger days I would have been out there chucking bricks, but I’ve got my begonias to think about now. Plus I’ve heard they don’t have bingo in prison.”

Wayne Hayes, van driver: “Definitely a riot for me. Aren’t I interested in garden centres? Well, yeah, sure, I’d happily smash one of those up too. Just point me in the right direction.”

Helen Archer, office manager: “I’ve got three kids and a layabout husband, so I wouldn’t mind burning down a few branches of Greggs to let off a bit of steam. Unfortunately I’m not a racist though, so I’ll sit this one out.”

Tom Booker, bookseller: “I’ll be going, but as a counter-protester. I’m passionately anti-fascist. As long as I can watch from a distance and run away if it gets a bit scary.”

Margaret Gerving, retired headteacher: “I certainly won’t be going to a riot, I’ll be looking at Joules gilets and potting compost. Although people can get quite tetchy in the queue at Dobbies on a Saturday, so maybe it’ll be both.”

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