PERVERTS, the lot of them. A man dating a 27-year-old ought to have his photo up behind the bar in Nando’s and a curfew.
Setting your upper age range as 30 on Tinder? Barred from the app and a police visit is automatically triggered. If he’s replied to two or more women his devices should be seized.
How can any relationship with that kind of power differential be healthy? Men who aren’t strong enough for a confident, independent woman their own age, instead preying on lithe women with dewy buttocks and no conversation.
It’s the girls I worry for. A 38-year-old’s panting atop you, red-faced with the effort of putting his PlayStation controller down, close to cardiac arrest. Because of his fatty heart, not because she’s so sexy.
And really, old men dating innocent, perky-bosomed girls must be hating every second of it, their anecdotes about seeing Iron Man in the actual cinema falling flat. Women under 30 may be able to vote, work and buy homes, but they can’t meaningfully consent to sex with that.
Nor is it just men over 30. Men in their 20s have to be restricted. Turning down relationships with real women for a string of hook-ups with clear-skinned beauties who don’t remember Bennifer from the first time around? Just to have someone to patronise?
These poor girls, who could happily stay inside crocheting, must be protected. Cloistered. I’m thinking a benign form of nunnery.
Enforcing this on men would encourage them not to age-dump their girlfriends when commitment looms leaving women 32 and single, which is an equitable outcome for everyone.
