A MAN has realised, five years after the fact, that his last conversation with his girlfriend centred on her ending their relationship.
It dawned on Martin Bishop earlier today that when Nikki Hollis told him in 2019 she did not think they were working any more, she was actually trying to gently tell him she did not want to go out with him.
He said: “Riiight. That actually makes sense of a whole lot of stuff, like where she’s gone.
“It was confusing, because she gave me a lot of eye contact and said about what a great time she’d had and she hoped I’d be happy, all of which positive sentiment meant I wasn’t really listening to the other bits.
“But now I look back on her saying we weren’t compatible and having different hopes for the future, she was actually dumping me in a subtle, coded way all along. Seems obvious in hindsight.
“I guess immediately after we didn’t see each other for a couple of months – Red Dead Redemption II was out, I was busy – and after that she didn’t respond to my texts or calls so I thought I’d give her some space and here we are today.
“Does that mean I’m single? So I didn’t cheat on her last year which I had been feeling a little bit bad about. It’s a load off if I’m honest.”
Hollis, who is now married and expecting her second child, said: “He did take it exceptionally well. As I left he asked if I could lend him 20 quid until Saturday.”
