MEN live in a barren emotional wasteland devoid of attention and compliments. That’s why they read these interactions as signs of romantic interest.
‘Hi’
When said from one man to another, this is nothing more than a curt greeting. But when murmured by a woman working on the cheese counter at Morrisons, blokes often mistake this salutation as an admission of love. At which point they’ll tell her they’ve already got a girlfriend or that things are moving too fast.
Blinking
This semi-automatic body action predominantly occurs to cleanse and moisten the eye. Although if a woman blinks, a man caught in her gaze will confuse her batting lashes for a coquettish come-on. To avoid sending mixed signals, women should let their eyeballs dry up and crust over until men have left the vicinity.
The briefest of eye contact
Locking eyes with your romantic interest is one of the most tried-and-tested ways to express your amorous feelings. Unfortunately, men do not excel at nuance and believe that the briefest, most fleeting picosecond of eye contact means women want to jump their bones. It doesn’t. It just means they want to make sure men don’t walk into them.
Shaking hands
Handshakes are about as formal and corporate as human interactions can get. This doesn’t stop men from reading too much into them though. After all, they’re making skin-on-skin contact with a woman, which means they’re practically having sex. Why else do you think men try to drag out their enthusiastic hand pumpings for as long as possible?
Waving
A wave has two purposes: to greet someone or to bid them farewell. Astute readers will notice that neither involves a secret flirtatious subtext. Despite this, desperate men will misconstrue an innocent wave from a woman as a Siren-like beckoning, and abandon all their senses as they flock to her side. Often only to realise she was waving to someone else.
