HAVE you found ‘the one’, or do you just want to sit on the sofa with a person with compatible taste in television programmes? Find out with this quiz.
How often do you think of your beloved?
A) Every waking moment of the day. I can barely eat or work without being consumed by delirious adoration. It’s really impacting my productivity.
B) Nine o’clock on the dot every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. That’s when we slump in front of The Traitors and endure each other’s company for an hour. Other than that, never.
Do you want to spend a lot of time with them?
A) I’d be by their side permanently if that were possible. Sadly I’m torn away from them every day in order to earn money. They also insist I give them a few minutes’ peace when they go to the bathroom, to ‘keep the magic alive’. Anything they want, I’m happy with too.
B) I’m definitely up for a strangely specific 86 hours in their company right now. That’s how long it will take us to watch The Sopranos, which we’ve just started bingeing. Can you believe Pussy got whacked? We talk about it for hours.
Do they make you want to be a better person?
A) Absolutely. Being in love drives you to push yourself to venture out of your comfort zone, work harder on yourself, and become the best you that you can be.
B) Yes. We encourage each other to watch better TV shows, which is what you mean, right? We’ve abandoned total shit like Galactica 1980 and Police Interceptors and started self-improving with premium programming like The Terror and The Leftovers. Although that might be more for our sanity than anything else.
Do they make you laugh?
A) Uncontrollably so. Even the most basic observation reduces me to fits of hysterics. We’re probably insufferable to onlookers, but we couldn’t give a shit because we’ve found a higher plane of happiness.
B) I recently let out a snort when my partner hilariously rolled over in bed and seductively asked if I fancied watching The Nazis: A Warning from History. But then we thought fair play, it is bloody good. So we put it on.
Do you see a long-term future with them?
A) I plan to be with them for the rest of my life and beyond. Once we’re dead our souls will become intertwined on the astral plane and endure for eternity. Which is handy because I’m too rusty to start dating again.
B) It’s guaranteed. We’ve long since forgotten who owns what in our DVD collection, and I’m not prepared to risk losing access to Edge of Darkness or My So-Called Life. Yes, I could easily pick them up from CEX for pennies, but it’s a matter of principle now.
ANSWERS
Mostly As: You are indeed in love, which means you have completely lost control of your mind and will be utterly unable to make rational decisions for the rest of your life. Commiserations.
Mostly Bs: Your relationship is built on compatible viewing habits instead of an emotional connection, which in this age of endless content is a much more stable foundation for a life together. Congratulations.
