A WOMAN visiting Paris has sensibly brought a new pair of high-heeled leather boots that are yet to be broken in as her only footwear option.
Eleanor Shaw has been saving the boots first wear for a suitable occasion, and planned to stroll around the City of Light as if fresh from the pages of Vogue, effortlessly impressing the stylish locals.
She said: “Please Jesus I am in agony. And this is only day two. I’ve got another 48 hours of hobbling to go.
“I was already feeling the bite of unyielding leather against my soft skin on the plane. I treated myself to a taxi from De Gaulle in the pretence it was chic, struggled to my room, surveyed the damage and realised I’d be alright as long as I didn’t walk again this week.
“I’m relying on the Metro to get around but how many f**king steps? And the Louvre goes on for miles. I stood in front of Delacroix’s Liberty Leading the People for 45 minutes with tears streaming down my cheeks. Not because of the painting.
“Last night I read all about the marvellous restaurants within a short walk from my hotel, then ordered McDonalds on Uber Eats. I said ‘Merci’ to the delivery guy. That’s been the extent of my foreign experience.
“These torture devices cost me £200 and I can’t even return them because their calfskin lining’s permanently marked with blood. Tomorrow I’m out in Crocs.”
