YOUR most pretentious and wanky friend is enjoying a holiday in Japan, it has emerged.
While there is no specific reason why the East Asian country should attract the nerdiest and most annoying member of everybody’s friendship group, Japan is full of affected British tossers obsessing over the authenticity of their ramen.
Japanese tourism expert Tamaki Yasuhiro said: “We can’t understand why our beautiful culture should be a magnet for two of the worst groups in British society.
“Firstly, there’s the puny nerds showing up to gaming arcades but needing their inhalers just to play. None of them could get a girlfriend back home, but they expect us to believe they’re in geisha town ‘for the culture’.
“Then there are the pretentious hipsters, obsessed with manga at the age of 37 and thinking they’re enjoying an ‘authentic’ Japanese experience by going to The Snoopy Museum in amusing hats.
“We have bestowed many names upon fans of Japanese culture, such as ‘weeaboo’, ‘otaku’ and ‘unbearable tosspot’. Plenty of other people manage to like foreign cultures without pathetically making it their entire personality, but sadly not our visitors.”
Tourist Julian Cook said: “I come to Japan for all the things you can’t get in the UK, like whisky, video games and super hot women. I am very cool. Please don’t let my collection of niche anime figurines convince you otherwise.”
