A WOMAN who has invented a system of storing items known only to her is furious at her family for not following it.
Fastidious tidier Donna Sheridan routinely upbraids her husband and children for placing objects in locations that make sense but do not conform to strict rules she has not shared.
She said: “Bottles of shower gel live on the right hand corner of the bath, not the f**king left. How many times do I have to relocate them while hissing in annoyance?
“The telly remotes live next to the DVD player, not in front of it, medium-sized mugs only go on the middle shelf, and best T-shirts go in the top drawer and the second-best go in the third drawer. How is that not obvious?
“I shouldn’t have to spell out where everything lives. It’s all been arbitrarily designated and laid down in a system I have never outlined verbally or in writing, so why everyone gets it wrong I don’t know.
“All everyone needs to do is read my mind and leave things exactly as they found them. After all, this home isn’t to be lived in. It’s a shrine to order.”
Husband Martin said: “Pretty rich coming from someone who puts bowls on the bottom shelf of the dishwasher like a f**king idiot.”
