PANIC is rising as you will be forced to flush a toilet in someone else’s home for a second time, it has emerged.
The initial flush having failed to whisk away the entirety of your solid waste, it is looking increasingly likely that you will have to flush your friend’s toilet again and they will hear it.
Your inner monologue said: “It’s finally happened: the moment we greatly feared yet never prepared for. We may have clogged it. There may be an overflow.
“What are our options? A second flush is the obvious choice, but risks public ridicule. But it can’t be left looking like that. No friendship could survive knowing that your body produces these shapes, those odours.
“Has the cistern filled? Are we ready for another flush? Has my longer-than-usual absence been noted? Why don’t they teach you how to deal with emergencies like this in school?”
Friend and toilet owner Martin Bishop said: “Don’t worry, I’ve paused the film that our assembled friendship group were all watching until you get back. We’re just sitting here, patiently waiting in dead silence with no audible distractions.
“Actually, I should have warned you the pipes in this house are pretty old. Still work fine but make an awful banging noise whenever water is pumped through. It’s very audible and unmistakable.
“Come to think of it, you’ve been gone a while. I think we’ll head to the bathroom door en masse to ask if you need any help. That’ll make everything better.”
