A COUPLE are trying to remember how they spent weekends before they were entirely given over to the demands of their children.
Tom and Louisa Booker of Buxton, whose weekends are dictated by the demands of their 12-year-old son and eight-year-old daughter from start to finish, know they must theoretically have done other things when childless but cannot recall what.
Louisa said: “Well we’d get up, and… wait, no. I don’t suppose we’d have to. Did we just spend all day in bed? Why wouldn’t you?”
Her husband replied: “No, we were up by noon, at least, and then… well we wouldn’t have had to go to junior football or ballet lessons or any of that shit. But what?
“Did we go out for brunch? I kind of sort of remember eating while relaxed without having to take anyone for a shit mid-pancake. Could that be real?”
Louisa said: “Then the afternoon. Did we, I don’t know, poke around an antiques market? Go to the pub? I know we still had sex back then, but not all weekend. God, I’m completely blanking on what it would be like not dancing to a child’s whims.”
Tom said: “I remember sometimes in the evening we’d watch a film. At the cinema. There, that’s Saturday dealt with. Now what the f**k did we do on Sundays?”
