BEEN through an experience that was abjectly shit, but you’re trying to spin it? Here are five useful euphemisms for when you’ve been through the wringer:
Character-building
Everyone needs a bit more character, don’t they? Formed in response to traumatic events that mean you will never, ever be the same again? Sure, you might have come away scarred for life mentally and physically, but think of the character you’ve gained.
Challenging
Only losers and cowards turn down challenges. Admittedly, challenges range from ‘slightly more emails’ to ‘build Rome in a day for a manager who will always be angry you’re not doing it fast enough’, but who are you to turn down this opportunity to be taken to the end of your f**king tether?
Rigorous
A rigorous course of antibiotics sounds like exactly what you need to finally shake that wisdom tooth infection. You’ll feel like you’ve gone ten rounds with Oleksandr Usyk but rigor’s better than casual, isn’t it? Except in the phrase ‘rigor mortis’.
Hard graft
No-one goes to a 6am workout in the park for soft graft. No, the gruelling of being screamed at by a wanker in sweatbands who refers to both you and himself as ‘warriors’ means giving your all, and then sleepwalking exhausted through a full day. That’ll be £45, by the way.
Triumphing over adversity
If you’ve just been mugged, had a pet put down, lost a receipt for a shirt you hate and changed the sheets when your toddler pissed the bed, you have triumphed over adversity my friend. It’s a hollow victory because you’ll have to do it all again tomorrow, but aren’t you a better person for it?
