IF YOU are foolish enough to believe there is a Nordic secret to happiness you have never spent time with the Nordic peoples, experts have asserted.
Claims that the Nordic practice of ‘dugnadsånd’ is the key to a better, happier life have been dismissed by those who once spent five hours in a train carriage with a Norwegian and are yet to recover.
Jordan Gardner of Leeds said: “Bollocks to hygge and dugnadsånd. Get an hour north of Hamburg and they’re the gloomiest bastards you’ve ever met in your life.
“Why bleak, disconsolate, pessimistic heavy drinkers who even frequent group sex can’t cheer up are regularly marketed to us as happy folk I can’t imagine. Abba have got a lot to answer for.
“They live in countries where the weather is even worse than ours, where it’s colder, where they get four hours of daylight in winter and where there’s piss all to do once you’ve seen the Northern Lights. Which, after the first couple of times, aren’t all that.
“And we think they’re happier? It’s like marketing ‘The Londoner’s Secret to Smiling All The Time’ to the residents of Seville. Zero credibility.”
Sven-Ove Nilsson of Stockholm said: “I contemplate ending my own life whenever the tram is late. But I suppose I am blonde.”
